


His Numbered Days

by lecksie31



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, I dont know how to do tags, Lawyer Junmyeon, Love, M/M, No Happy Ending Fest, Saaaaaaaad, Sad, True Love, Unhappy Ending, author sehun, no happy ending, saaaaad, we only know angst in this household
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22670563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lecksie31/pseuds/lecksie31
Summary: For some, forever is not enough to show their love for their other half. For others, they can only do the best they can with what little time they have left to spend together. Junmyeon didn’t expect this but now he has no choice but to deal with it however he can.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 20
Kudos: 41
Collections: No Happy Ending Fest - 2019





	His Numbered Days

**Author's Note:**

> **Author's note:** First of all, I congratulate and give a warm round of applause to the Potato Sect for another wonderful round. You guys are the best!  
> Next, I would like to give a big THANKS to my beta readers, I wouldn't have been here without you guys. Thank you for always encouraging me and giving me all your thoughts. Especially V, for the ending.
> 
> Lastly, for you who is reading this, as always, thank you for giving this a story a chance.

_“I’m in love with you…  
…and all these little things”_

They met when they were in high school¸ two completely different personalities that were expected to clash but instead blended perfectly together. No one expected that the two of them would find solace within each other.

Kim Junmyeon, with his angelic face, has always been dubbed as someone who gets the ‘parent’s pass’ or someone you can bring to your home and get approval for marriage from your mom or dad. However, in reality, he was someone you did not want to mess up with. What may look like a shy kid was someone who is very calculative to the point that you do not want to get into the wrong foot with him.

On the other hand, Oh Sehun was quite the opposite. He looked like someone who will be the leader of a mafia with his strong facial features, but he had a soft heart. He is that type of person to bring a stray cat to his home just because he thought it looked very sad. He is a very cheerful person that is always smiling to everyone despite the fact that everyone avoids him due to the impression he gave.

They clicked and it was **instantaneous.**

The cheerful kid and the shy teen.

There was just this connection between them that they could not explain.

Before they knew it, they were always catching each other in the middle of the hallway, talking about the newly released shoes by Nike or that basketball game that happened last week. May it be in the taste of clothes, in the taste in music or in the food they eat, they just had that understanding of each other that goes way beyond anything they had ever experienced.

Being with each other was a joy that they could not deprive themselves of.

\------

They were in their senior year. It was graduation day.

Junmyeon was on his way to meet Sehun so that they can take the normal commemorative photo that everyone does with their friends. And honestly, there was just something about Sehun that makes Junmyeon’s heart to beat at an abnormal speed. Junmyeon did not understand but he hopes that Sehun would help him, as he always did, to figure out what this means.

But just as he was about to call Sehun out, the man came to him with a huge smile on his face as if he had been to heaven and back.

 _“Jun!”,_ Sehun said in his normal cheerful tone.

_“Hunnie. Where have you been, I’ve been looking all over for you. Should we take--”_

Junmyeon’s voice was cut off when he realized that there was a girl beside his best friend.

 _“Jun, meet Yuna, my girlfriend.”,_ Sehun introduced while putting his arms around the girl.

Junmyeon felt like something inside him was being torn apart and that his heart was being pricked by a thousand needles, but he couldn’t really say that now to Sehun, could he?

_“Yuna, this is the best friend I’ve been telling you about, Jun.”_

The girl smile and offered her hand while saying,

_“I’ve heard a lot about you from Sese.”_

As soon as he heard the nickname Sese, Junmyeon secretly wanted to laugh. It was so old-fashioned that he was sure Sehun must’ve been dying to kill anyone who’d call him that, but when he looked at Sehun, there was no trace of anger nor annoyance. Thus, he shook Yuna’s hand and tried to smile at her instead.

_“Oh, what were you saying again before I introduced Yuna?”_

_“Ah, it was…..ah yes, Auntie has been looking all over for you.”_

_“I see! Let’s go Yuna, I’ll introduce you to my mom. Will you come with us, Jun?”_

_“Ah, no. I actually need to go to the bathroom, you two go for it.”_

And when he got home that night, Junmyeon cried himself to sleep.

\------

When college started, Sehun honestly thought that he would not survive it. It was too taxing on him, but he decided to go all out, nevertheless. He always believed that if you do your best in everything and love what you do, then you will eventually succeed, no matter the hurdles that may lie ahead.

Now that he is in his third year, instead of being all cooped up, he faces an even harder time. He felt so alone in the huge college that he was in. He wanted to call up his friends but there is no one that he felt he can talk to. His roommate was barely there, and they never got close. He felt like a blanket of sadness was enveloping him, and that he was just drowning in it. He was always too busy, never have the time to go out and have fun and truth be told, he misses being with his best friend, his Jun.

This is why he was surprised when he heard his phone ring.

_*Calling: Jun*_

He immediately answered, feeling desperate just to here Junmyeon’s voice and have someone to talk to.

_“Sehun? How are you? Are things alright?”_

_“I wasn’t expecting a call, Jun. It feels like it’s been so long.”_

_“I missed you. I’m finally free of my tasks for this week, do you maybe want to meet tomorrow?”_

_“Sure! Where do you want to meet?”_

_“I’ll text you the location. I need to go now, but I’ll see you?”_

_“See you.”_

And just like that, with a 2-minute conversation with Junmyeon, was good enough to perk him up and remove every single ounce of sadness in him. It was amazing how easy it was to get right back on his feet, knowing that Junmyeon was there for him. He can’t wait for tomorrow to come, he has quite a few things to say to his best friend, after all.

\------

**9.43 a.m.**

Junmyeon told him to meet him at the amusement park near their university at 9.30 but as Sehun checks his watch, he is already 13 minutes late. He hopes Junmyeon wouldn’t be there yet but knowing how punctual he is, he is sure that he got there even earlier. It didn’t help that he forgot to charge his phone and had no way of contacting Junmyeon.

Trusting that his friend would be there waiting for him, he heads straight for the entrance.

It was already 9.55 am when he got to the gates of the park but as expected, Junmyeon was right there, waiting patiently, not a hint of annoyance on his face. Sehun takes it all in, how much Junmyeon’s figure has changed. He was no longer the lanky and gloomy kid he had once been but Junmyeon is now a grown-up man that has the most amazing senses of fashion. He was wearing brown khaki-pants, a white inner T-shirt and a sky-blue long-sleeved polo shirt with a black ball cap to top it off. He hated to admit it but Junmyeon looked very cool standing there waiting for him.

_“Jun! I’m so sorry, did you wait long?”_

_“Ah, I just arrived as well. I was trying to call you, but you weren’t answering. I was worried.”_

_“Oh, I forgot to charge it last night and fell asleep.”,_ Sehun said chuckling a bit, his hand scratching the back of his head.

_“How are you? It’s been so long since we last went out like this.”_

_“I know! College really ate up all our free time. So, where should we go?”_

_“I’ve got that covered, don’t worry and let’s go enjoy today!”_

\------

It took them the whole day to ride every single thing inside the park that Sehun was pretty much spent up as they sat on a bench. They were drinking some soda and trying to catch up with each other.

_“How are you and Yuna?”_

_“We broke up years ago, Jun.”_

_“I’m so sorry, I didn’t hear about this.”_

_“Jun, I need to tell you something.”_

_“Go on, Sehun, I’m listening.”_

_“Jun, I like you.”_

Junmyeon was speechless. How can Sehun tell this to him three years later just when he thought that he almost moved on? He was so ready to let his feelings go and this is the time to do so and yet here he is, ruining everything he worked so hard for.

Junmyeon was never busy, he just made it a point not to see Sehun because he can’t bear the idea of meeting him with his girlfriend. He can’t help but feel bad and so for the best, he thought it would be good to just avoid him until he knows he has finally moved on.

_“Sehun, this is not funny, you’re straight.”_

_“Jun, I’m gay. Yuna was, well, she and I had a deal back then, it was just a petty dare. I was in love with you ever since high school but because I was so scared of admitting it to anyone, I thought of that.”_

Junmyeon was shocked at the sudden revelation and did not know what he was supposed to do. Before he knew it, Sehun was wiping tears from his face.

_“I….for….Hunnie”_

And those words were music to Sehun’s ears, for Junmyeon to finally call him by that nickname again.

\------

Junmyeon was having another stressful day at work. What is happening to him? This is not him; he wasn’t this irritable before nor does he have trouble making decisions. He is someone who is very particular and a fast learner. Something feels off with him lately and when he talked to the CEO earlier that day, he was told to get some rest.

A week off.

He was given a week off because apparently, he was ‘slowing them down’ by being there at the office. And because he does not know what to do and he was not feeling good either, he took what was being offered to him and then decided to drop by the hospital.

And when he got the results the next day, he went to another hospital, and another just to make sure that they were saying facts.

_Huntington’s disease._

_A rare, progressive brain disorder._

_There is no cure, it is fatal._

_A genetic disease that is inherited from your parents._

Junmyeon had no way of knowing as his parents died when he was just a little kid and he grew up with his aunt.

As soon as he got home, on the third confirmation that he did have the disease, he cried in the bathroom. It was only then that the realization dawned over him. He covered his mouth with his hand to muffle the sobs because he can’t let Sehun hear him. _It wasn’t death that scared him but the thought of leaving Sehun behind._

\------

_“Temporary; a word that is both a blessing and a curse.”_

For a lawyer, the manner of speaking, the way you reason things out and your memory are your top weapons in the court. The worst thing is that the disease is going to be taking all of this from him. Junmyeon loved his job and he has a flawless career, the top lawyer in the city with a clean record of zero losses. This is why he was not going to let it be smeared.

He hands his resignation letter to the CEO, gave up his position as managing partner in the firm and explained everything to him.

 _“I hope you find happiness, Junmyeon. I am one call away if you ever need me. Say my regards to Sehun.”,_ Jongin, the CEO of the firm told him, smiling sadly at him.

He came home and felt like breaking down, but he knew he had to be strong.

Sehun was there exactly as he left him that morning, stuck on his desk, worrying about the draft that he needed to submit by tomorrow’s deadline. He smiled as he realized just how wonderful it was that the man, he loves has achieved his dream of becoming a top-selling author. He can’t be prouder of this Hunnie. At the same time, it also came to him that he does not have it in him to tell Sehun about what is happening to him or what is happening to him. But he knows he needs to, so he poured himself a cup of chamomile tea to relax him enough to tell him.

Now that he has calmed down enough, he is going to change his clothes. However, as he went to find a good shirt from the drawer, he saw a box. Out of curiosity, he opened it and saw a ring. This is it, Sehun was going to propose to him. How can he let him down and tell him that he can no longer be with him?

_How can he tell Sehun that he can no longer fulfill his promise of building their dream house together?_

_How can he tell Sehun that he would no longer be able to adopt a child with him because he is dying?_

_How can he tell Sehun that he is not going to be able to come home each day to him and wake up beside him because one of these days, this disease might take him away?_

_How does he tell Sehun that he only had a year or two at most to live?_

\------

_“When you’re fighting against time,  
there is no escape; no one wins.”_

He just wanted to escape.

He lied to Sehun and told him that he had to go on a trip for a case.

He just wanted to be alone for some time and think to himself.

He had a vacation house on this island far away from the city and he thought he would go there.

What he didn’t expect was that he would feel so desolate and just extend his stay.

His mistake was not informing Sehun beforehand, and he blames it on the disease. He was becoming forgetful of the little things and he feels very annoyed at this.

When Sehun figured out where he was (GPS is very useful), he found the house in a complete state of disorder. Clothes were strewn on the ground, boxes of pizza left opened on the tabletop and just complete disarray of everything else. He went upstairs and found Junmyeon on the room, half-drunk, half asleep and he talked to him.

_“Jun, what happened?”_

Junmyeon, thinking he was dreaming, because there was no way Sehun could be there, let it all out and just spilled everything to his beloved. He told Sehun about the disease, that he had little time left to spend with him and that Sehun should leave him and keep a happy life.

 _“I won’t leave you, Jun. Let’s spend what time you have left and make the most out of it, okay?”,_ Sehun told Junmyeon in the most reassuring tone that he can muster up at that moment.

\------

In the third year after the diagnosis, Sehun and Junmyeon felt hopeful because the signs disappeared, and the latter was feeling a whole lot better.

 _Maybe there was hope._ Maybe a miracle happened, maybe Junmyeon was the exception.

In the past years, the two of them traveled a lot.

They went skydiving in Las Vegas, ziplining in the Safari, bridge climbing in Brisbane, rafting in Costa Rica, sandboarding in the dunes in Perth, bungee jumping in Auckland, did a temple tour in Kuala Lumpur, tried cage diving with sharks in Cape town and a went to a lot of different landmarks all over the world. Personally, Junmyeon loved the Eiffel tower and Sehun had taken a particular liking to the Taj Mahal.

They spend a lot of years just enjoying each other’s company, living their lives to the fullest because they know they didn’t have much left. It went by like that, day by day, they are spending each second like it might be their last.

_“And I’ll give up forever to touch you…  
you’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be  
and I don’t want to go home right now”_

Sehun reserved the whole restaurant for both of them and Junmyeon was eating his favorite food; Japanese. It was nothing extravagant but Junmyeon is the type of man that you do not have to impress, you just need to show that you are sincere, and he will appreciate it. Sehun understands this and that is why he made sure that the place is extra special.

When Sehun got down on his knees, Junmyeon’s eyes were like broken faucets and the tears spilled like there was no tomorrow.

_“Junmyeon, I know we may not have much time. I know you think that there is no longer a future to look forward to. But I still want to spend forever with you, because being beside you is the only way I know how to live. You are my strength; you are my inspiration and anywhere with you is home. Please marry me and let’s live the rest of our lives together. I love you and there is no one else in this world I see myself being with.”_

Junmyeon felt so overwhelmed by the love that Sehun gave him and though his head is telling him to say no, he listened to his heart and nodded.

The two exchanged a passionate kiss before Sehun put the ring right where it belonged, on Junmyeon’s finger.

\--------

 _“What are you doing?!”_ , Sehun shouted at the doctors that are removing the oxygen mask on Junmyeon.

Junmyeon’s aunt put a hand on Sehun’s shoulder as she told him about it.

_“Sehun, I don’t want this either. You know how much I love Jun, but I can no longer see him suffering like this. Let us let him go in peace, Sehun.”_

And for the first time in a long while, Sehun cried. Tears fell down his eyes and he let out a guttural cry as the doctor proceeded to turn off Junmyeon’s life support. He held Junmyeon’s hand and cried over it as much as humanly possible.

He can’t believe that it has come down to this when it was just a few months before that they were almost about to be married.

\-----

Everything was already set, and the wedding was just a few days away.

They were standing under the moonlight, on the rooftop of their new house.

_“I can’t believe I lived long enough to be able to marry you.”_

_“I told you miracles do happen, Jun. This is ours; you are my miracle.”_

_“I see you’re still a sweet talker, Hunnie.”_

_“For you, I will always speak nothing but the truth.”_

_“Oh Sehun, will you take my hand as I make my vows to you at this moment?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Just hold my hand.”_

And Sehun did as he was told, holding Junmyeon’s hand as the latter was staring deep in his eyes, the adoration that filled them obvious.

_“I have loved you for a long time, Sehun. I was going to confess to you during graduation back when we were high schoolers, but you were with someone back then. And when you actually told me you loved me, you didn’t know how happy I was. It felt like I had won in life then. You were there with me in all the important milestones in my life. And even after I was diagnosed with this cursed illness inside of me, you decided to stay. I will always be grateful for the life I was given, no matter how short it may be, because it let me meet you. I’d like to believe that it was destiny that let me be with you, though it seems that it is the very same destiny that is trying to take me away from you. But nevertheless, I want to tell you how proud I am of you, of the person you were, of the person you are and the person you are becoming and I want you to know that I love every single version of you. I love all of you, Sehun and I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of forever with any----”_

And as if Junmyeon’s breath got knocked out of him, he fell down and Sehun didn’t know what to do.

_“Jun! Jun! Jun! Wake up, what’s wrong?”_

Even as he was sobbing, he dialed for 911 and called an ambulance.

\------

_“Eventually, life will take everything away from you  
so hold those dear to you tightly right now.”_

Is there a word to describe the feeling when your heart has been clawed out of your chest and you just want to die because of the pain? If there was, Sehun would have used that to describe what he was feeling.

The pain was too much.

He felt like he had no reason to live and at the funeral, he could not utter a single word.

His life was falling apart, and he does not see any reason to continue nor try to mend it back.

And when he came home, to their house, everything went crashing down.

He felt like he was spiraling down a hole that has no end.

All the memories flooded him; he wanted to cry but no tears came out so he went to the bedroom, and held himself tightly until he eventually fell asleep.

\------

_“Are you sure you want to sell it, Sehun?”_

_“Yes, Chanyeol, please just do it for me, okay?”,_ Sehun told his agent.

_“Okay, then you might want to get started cleaning your things out of the house then.”_

This was the right decision; he was sure of it. Selling the house was all he could come up with to stop the pain. It has been a year since Junmyeon died and Sehun can’t bring himself to even touch anything he owned. Maybe this will help him to move on, eventually.

_“Thanks, man. You’re the best.”_

Sehun decided to do just that; to go straight to the house that he had shared with Junmyeon for years; though there is still pain and the memories won’t go away, he can bear with them, even just a bit.

 _“Alright, let’s get the hardest task done first.”,_ Sehun said to himself while heading towards the cabinet where Junmyeon put his things.

He browsed through all of the suits that his lover owned and found no reason to take them. He found the ties that he had handpicked himself and didn’t have the guts to touch them, afraid that he would break down if he did. So, he closed the cabinet as he felt it too heavy to remove anything. He then went to Junmyeon’s table, the one at his side of the bed. He opened the drawer and saw the things that Junmyeon used back when he was still a lawyer; the pen he always carried inside his coat pocket, the rubber thimble that was all worn out but was so loved by him, and the recorder he always puts his thoughts on.

Out of curiosity and longing, Sehun wondered if Junmyeon had recorded something for his last case inside it. He wanted to hear his lover’s voice and he couldn’t help but do it. He grabs the recorder and pressed play. However, what he heard next shocked him to the point that he found himself back to the very beginning, like how much he cried when they took of Junmyeon’s life support.

_“Hunnie! I don’t know if you’ll ever listen to this recording but I had hoped you would. If you are ever feeling lonely because I am already gone, I wish this would ease away your tears. Do you remember when we first met? I had been struggling all day long coping with the new set of classmates, but I looked into your eyes and they spoke more than a thousand words to me. They were filled with warmth, the type that only you can give. Maybe I had fallen in love with you then, and even more so when years after and you had told me that you love me. I had never been happier my entire life.”_

There was a slight pause in the recording, a sound of someone sniffling heard in the background.

_“When I found out about my disease, I never thought of me, you were the first person I thought of. I was so proud of the person you’ve become, and I did not want to leave you behind. I don’t want your smiles to be replaced with sadness. I did not want your cheerful personality to be crushed. You were all I had ever wanted and more in this world and I felt like I didn’t deserve you. For the first time in forever, I wanted to live, I wanted to spend more time with you.”_

Junmyeon’s voice was slightly shaky, the crying now quite obvious in his voice.

_“We were given an extension, the doctor said 2 years but now I am on my third one and I am still alive. I am so close to believing that maybe, just maybe, a miracle will happen just like you told me. I knew you were going to propose to me, I found the box years ago, but it was nothing like I’ve ever imagined. Thank you for that, Hunnie. I am recording this because I feel weak and tired, and it feels like the end is coming. But I am hoping that I do make it to our wedding day, it's just a few days away.”_

_“But if by chance that life gets cruel as it always has been and it takes me away from you earlier than what we want, I just want you to know that I love you. For the longest time in my life, I had always wondered what being in love was. If love was something that you can touch, then I think it’s being held by you; I think that is what love means to me. Your warm hugs are the best and I will bring them with me, wherever I go. Thank you for loving me and all I wish is that you stay happy. Don’t let my absence stop you from smiling, the way you smiled at me that first day; the way it reached your eyes. Do not let anything remove that warmth in your heart. You have always been a kind and loving soul, Oh Sehun. And that’s why I fell in love with you. Please live a happy life because that’s what the best people deserve and you, you are the best.”_

And the recording stops and Sehun’s heart that was feeling numb a little earlier before, suddenly felt like it’s being melted. The tears would not stop and Sehun did not want them to. He is going to cry until there are no tears left to cry because even at his last moments, Junmyeon had thought of him and he promised himself he is going to fulfill what his lover wished for.

\-------

_“When love is true, it never fades  
it never goes away; it stays in you.”_

It had been 10 years later since the day Junmyeon left the world and Sehun is no longer just an author but the owner of a publishing company. He had lived by Junmyeon’s words and decided to move on with his life because if there is one thing about him; _he knows how to keep his word._

He made a foundation that gives scholarships to kids that wanted to pursue their dreams. He did a yearly visit to the orphanage. Sehun did all he can to give back to the world and to spread kindness because Junmyeon showed him love and he wanted to pay it forward.

But he kept a simple life, unlike all the other CEOs in the world, he did not want a car but loved walking towards his home, _their home_ ; he never got to sell the house, the memories were far too precious to get rid of.

He was about to cross the road, but the red light flashed so he stopped abruptly. However, the kid beside him lost hold of her mom’s hand and run across the white lines of the pedestrian lane. Sehun, in desperation, runs as fast as he can to save the child. But the truck’s brake were a little too late and he was left in the middle of the road, face covered in blood.

But as he hears the voice of the little girl that he saved from this tragedy, he smiles, the same smile that Junmyeon had fallen in love with. Before he took his last breath, he mouthed something and then he closed his eyes and let go.

_“I’m coming, my love.”_


End file.
